Many of us identify with ceaseless movement and continuous excitation of our minds. Like roving sharks in a sea of jabber, we fear that if we stop, we die. We aim to feel alive through distraction.
Constantly seeking vibratory stimulation, willingly bombarding ourselves with chatter, we devour our lives with “bites” of sound. We frantically sleep in a stuporous soup of undigested bits of nothingness.
Embodying of the Earth principles (mindful and centering with relentless intent) and the Heaven principles (opening and surrendering with lovingkindness) produces calmness. One is fully present and at home in the universe.
Being still is not a bad thing. When the going gets tough, the tough get calmer.
Flaming and Drowning
Calm results from deciding to attend to the spark before the flaming (in anger, in ecstasy, in mania). The decision to attend may not be made because the flaming is so addictive. We may decide by default, by not deciding, to keep on flaming. Flaming is a way we have of feeling alive, a destructive way.
What makes you flame? What triggers you into flaming? Who are your flaming role models? Do you go through a periodic flaming as a stress release method? What is destroyed when you do so?
Calm results from deciding to attend to the tear before the drowning (in sorrow, sadness, and despair). Drowning may be as addictive as flaming. We may recite our litany of woes, our doomsday rosary, and spiral downward into the depths of melancholy. We may have become so skillful that we can do it in nanoseconds. We center in deep gloom.
What makes you drown? What triggers you into drowning? Who are your drowning role models? Do you put yourself through a periodic drowning? Is it a confirmed part of your Spiritual Ineptness Plan? (50)
Can you abide being calm? Do you dare?
Patterns of Anger
One inner experience we might consider changing is our own embodying of anger. Adrenaline is released when we feel threatened: threatened by someone else’s words, threatened by the world not being the way we think it should be, threatened by physical danger. And so on.
The feeling of anger comes with a release of adrenaline. The feeling of anger is the rush of adrenaline energy. This energy is neither good nor bad. It just is.
This adrenaline release is really not much of a problem. It just provides a lot of energy. It’s what we do with the energy, how we use the energy that can be a problem. At least two patterns of response to the energy of anger are possible: a blind anger pattern and a wisdom pattern.
Blind Anger Pattern
We can fall into a blind anger pattern, which may go something like this:
- Some event can occur. Any event. It doesn’t matter.
- The event can get our adrenaline going.
- Over the years we have grown to accept the adrenaline release as a signal to nurse feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, uneasiness, threat, and fear.
- These feelings are accompanied by thoughts and mental images that have become very familiar to us, so familiar that they seem like “Reality.”
- These are thoughts and images of fear, hostility, anger, and hatred.
- The end of this internal chain of events (the internal chain we have so carefully cultivated over the years because it seemed the only thing we could do) is to feel justified and righteous in declaring the event and all the people involved in the event as our enemy.
- We either explode with anger or hold it inside (implode).
Explosion. Explosive release, like a nuclear detonation, creates a poisonous wasteland. We may feel better for a moment through the releasing of pressure, but we soon find ourselves living in a self-created hell. Even though we may choose others as the target of our explosive release, the long-range effect is suicidal. We blow our own world up with our anger.
Holding It In (Implosion). We can choose not to release the energy, to hold it in. If we do that for too long, we will implode -- explode internally. Implosions can take the form of heart problems, ulcers, bowel irritation, headaches, stomach aches, difficulty breathing, and so on.
Setting ourselves up for an implosion is not a good choice. It’s like keeping the top on a pressure cooker without releasing any steam. Something’s going to blow. We can safely bet it will be the container of the energy, our physical body. Holding anger energy in over a long period of time is a form of suicide: slow suicide.
To me, these two methods (exploding or imploding) of the blind anger pattern are the most boring choices. I have tried them both. They take no skill or talent. Ho Hum. Be a robot. Have a totally predictable reaction: event – adrenaline – feelings – thought images – righteousness – explosion / implosion. Ho Hum. Boring choices.
Wisdom Pattern
Rather than reacting like a robot, our chain pulled by any event that rubs us the wrong way, we might choose to practice developing a different response.
- Some event can occur. Any event. It doesn’t matter.
- The event can get our adrenaline going.
- We regard the adrenaline release as a signal to move away from feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, uneasiness, threat and fear.
- We regard the adrenaline release as a signal to move toward a mental outlook that allows a calm mind.
- We immediately practice those methods, producing a calm mind. [These methods, to be described later, are best practiced every day so we will be ready to use them on a moment’s notice.]
- Our calmness of mind allows clear seeing.
- Clear seeing allows us to act with wisdom.
- Wisdom means thinking and acting in ways that reduce harm, both the internal harm of implosion and the external harm of explosion.
A wisdom pattern allows us to cultivate positive and strong qualities of mind. The wisdom pattern is: event – adrenaline – signal to move toward calm – calming mind – clear seeing – acting with wisdom. We become what we practice. Practicing the Wisdom Pattern allows us to transform ourselves into wide awake flexible calmness. We no longer fall into the blind trap of anger. We use the energy creatively and constructively.
Waiting
One ingredient of calm is patience. Patience involves abiding by the understanding that wherever you go here you are. Waiting is not patient. Waiting is a subjective state, a mental disturbance, a cognitive affliction closely akin to anxiety. Waiting is low-level anxiety.
Patience and compassion co-arise. In a waiting situation (traffic, checkout lines, doctor’s offices), with patience and compassion, we know that everyone is doing the best they can at the moment. Letting go of the judgmental divisive approach produced by the adopted stance of “waiting,” we open with calm compassion for what is going on here.
When in a “waiting” situation, a warrior of spirit engages in weapons practice: giving and receiving, breathing, posture of unshakable integrity, preparation posture, mindfulness, centering, and so on. A warrior of spirit does not wait. Waiting has disappeared from the menu of possibilities.
Mind Like Moon, Mind Like Water
Martial artists are instructed to have a mind like the moon and a mind like water. These terms point to specific states of consciousness. A mind like the moon is a mind that serenely reflects the light of Awareness. A mind like the moon does not withhold the light of Awareness from some and reserve it entirely for others. A mind like the moon is a mind that allows clear reflection of Awareness upon everything equally.
A mind like the moon is a mind that exists beyond the intellect, beyond the realm of words. A mind like the moon steadily, consistently, effortlessly allows the light of Awareness to gently unfold to a 360 degree consciousness, shrinking from nothing, opening to all, aware of the seen and the unseen, aware of the tonal and the nagual.
The felt experience of mind-like-moon is that of moving into sensing with your whole being, with your body and cells and organs, with your energetic field. No division exists. No subject. No object. No seer. No seen. Awareness is.
A mind like water is a mind that flows without encumbrance. Water knows no obstacles. Water flows under, around, and through. Water takes on the shape of all it encounters and yet keeps its own identity, its own qualities.
Water does not shy away from anything. Water moves with the speed, rhythm and agility called for by the circumstances. When it encounters hardness, resistance and density, it flows around with no resistance. When an opening occurs, water flows into and through.
Follow the example of the moon – reflect Reality without reservation. Follow the example of water – know no bounds, no resistance.
No intent. No design. Empty. Yet the moon “sends out” its light. The water “captures” its image. The moon reflects light. The water accurately reflects ever-changing reality with no thought and no effort.
Calm Illumination
A lamp of high intensity sheds more light per square inch than does a less intense light. Intensity refers to the amount of light entering a given space. An intense person is lively and moving with power and energy.
Calmness allows an increase in intensity. Excited intensity is tense. Calm intensity is illuminative. With calm intensity, one has a mind like the moon. One’s mind is not caught by tension. The light of awareness shines equally on all.
With calm intensity, one has a mind like water. Water flows without interruption or resistance. Water follows the natural contours of existence. Yet water is not passive. The Grand Canyon is an example of water’s penetrating power.
Sit in the seat at the center of your soul. Extend awareness in all directions. Express centered awareness. Allow relaxed openness. Move vigorously from a relaxed core.
Mothers and Cousins of Calm
The mother or major prerequisite of calm is the “thorough abandonment” of cognitive affliction.(51) Cognitive affliction can be thought of as clinging to the movies of the mind, regarding concepts as real. Cognitive affliction is trembling in fear at one’s own imagination. To be calm requires no longer entertaining these afflictions, to thoroughly abandon one’s role as a host.
Calm stillness has no fear. The cousins of calm which produce fearlessness are the other weapons (centering openness, relentless surrendering, mindful compassion, and active engaging). Proficiency in the embodying of these weapons requires and produces fearlessness. Along the way we grow more calm.
In-Hell-ing and Ex-Hale-ing
A delightful woman came to see me the other day. I had not seen her for some time. She was troubled. She had been holding her spiritual breath. Her in-hale-ation had become an in-hell-ation. We all have different ways of doing this. Her way had been to focus on her “self” and her lack of “self” esteem. Entrancing herself in this way, she was in-hell-ing.
During our time together, she began to laugh about her “self.” With her laughter came release. I spoke to her of the sun and how the sun continues radiating, continues exhaling warmth and light no matter what. To ex -“hale” means to send out healthiness (hale-thy-ness).
One definition of our (indefinable) Source is that God is a sphere with no surface whose center is everywhere. That means that God’s center is within each of us. As a center of the universe, our responsibility is to exhale warmth and light from that center. The alternative is to become a continuously inhaling black hole and keep the psychotherapists of the world employed.
Word Fasting
From time to time, choose a day and fast from words. (I have found Saturdays to be good days for this.) Do not speak with words from the time of awaking in the morning to going to sleep at night. Let your loved ones know you are going to do this and ask for their cooperation. If you wish, carry a small card that says “I am not speaking today. I am word fasting. Thanks!”
Enjoy a day of word fasting.
Developing Calm
The following methods for developing calm are part of the training of a warrior of spirit. A warrior of spirit practices the embodying and directing of spirit energy, the life force that flows through us and gives us being. A warrior sees clearly. Clear seeing requires calmness.
Sitting Still. Sit down. Keep an erect spine. Relax all the muscles not needed to hold the body up. Sit still for 15 to 45 minutes. Do not move. If an itch arises, do not scratch. Simply notice whatever arises. Whatever arises will continue to change.
Breathing. The way we breathe affects our mental state. To calm the mind, focus attention on breathing. Breathe in through the nose slowly, smoothly, and deeply. Breathe out through the mouth. In breathing out, imagine the breath going through all barriers and extending to infinity. Breathe back in. Repeat.
Concentrating. To concentrate means to bring full attention to one thing and keep it there. If the attention goes away, bring it back. One can concentrate on the breath, on an image or a word in the mind, on a picture, on a spot on the wall. Make sure the object of concentration is either neutral or positive.
Everything in the world will arise while concentrating: desire, hostility, pain, fear, fantasies, states of bliss, and so on. If the attention gets caught in them, bring the attention back to breathing. Once uncaught, continue concentrating. While sitting still, allow whatever arises to arise and disappear.
Appreciating. Think of something or someone that you appreciate, that you hold as precious. Sit quietly while feeling that sense of appreciation in the heart area of your chest. Breathe naturally. Sitting quietly while feeling appreciation increases the resistance of the immune system, the heart begins to beat more smoothly and evenly, and the brain waves begin to move in synchrony with the heart.
Moving. Moving around, stretching, flexing, tensing, and releasing allows one to let go of negative feelings. Choose your own way of doing this. It can take any form that suits you. Walking works well.
Embodying. While moving through the day, embody stillness, breathing, concentrating, and appreciating.
Your Practice of Calm
How do you practice calm in your life? Do you keep yourself in a state of agitation? Does silence disturb you? Do you attempt to calm yourself through greater excitation? Can you be with yourself without distractions? Can you be “still as a mountain?”
What calming practices are you embodying? Conscious breathing? Yoga? Natural stretching and flexing of muscle groups? Sighs of relief and release? Running? Cleaning house? Going for walks? What is your practice?
